![]() Most people are more comfortable with keeping old problems unresolved rather than working on a solution, so you may not be able to find a common ground. However, we cannot control what the outcome will be. We can prepare and plan for a courageous conversation. If the response is favourable, the next step for the two of you is to start exploring each other’s stories and to work out how to move forward. In telling your story, you are opening the opportunity for a dialogue and you invite the other person to join in. WHAT the issue is that you want to discuss.Once you have agreement, begin the conservation by telling your side of the story which includes the following 3 points: The first step to minimising the feeling of discomfort is to GET AGREEMENT from the other person on having the conversation. After having sorted out the reason why you are having the conversation, you must think about how you should set up the meeting. Also, the other person may not like what you are saying and may not want to hear it at all. In a courageous conversation, you must be prepared to discuss the undiscussable – the issues that you don’t want to deal with, but that you know you must face. What gives you the RIGHT to initiate the conversation.If you decide to have the conversation, you need to clear up the following 3 things: What is the purpose and what do you hope to achieve? Once you have sorted out the WHY you will be able to decide what the risks of having the conversation are. “The single most important thing you can do is to shift your internal stance from 'I understand' to 'Help me understand.' Everything else follows from that." Douglas Stone Know WHY you want to have a Courageous Conversationīefore you start a courageous conversation be very clear as to WHY you are having it. When you speak true to yourself, the message will be received and felt by the other person. Remember that a courageous conversation aims to seek resolution for the benefit of the relationship rather than the individual. Once you get your ego sorted and you are authentic about sharing your thoughts and feelings, you will be more open to listening to the other person’s side of the story. The other person will feel attacked and will fight back. If you are focused on pleasing your ego it will go downhill. If the conversation is about you and your sense of entitlement, then the conversation will not end well. Your conversation will be about your frustration or anger towards the other person. ![]() If your ego is controlling your heart and if you are protecting your ego you will focus on being right instead of being true. In a courageous conversation you express your feelings and are true to yourself. It can get in the way of being objective and achieving a solution targeting the good of a relationship, not you, the individual. The outcomes from not having courage’s conversations never served me well. To be honest, there have been a couple of times when you have said “Yes I am ok with the consequences of not having the conversation.” The outcome was that the relationship did not improve and that the nagging feeling of resentment grew. Am I willing to accept these consequences?.What are the consequences if I do nothing?. ![]() There are two questions you ask yourself when I’m dealing with fear: Maybe you fear rejection, maybe you fear that you could make it worse, or maybe you feel vulnerable. Self-limiting beliefs fuel fear and it is important that you get clear as to what these specific self-limiting beliefs are. These thoughts are dangerous because here fear tries to keep you from being courageous. One way through which you can recognise fear is to identify excuses like “the situation is not that bad” or “maybe the problem is not worth mentioning”. Deal with your Fearsįear is one of the main reasons that stop you from having a courageous conversation. Lecturer Broadcast:Click here to view an explanation about how to prepare for the courageous conversation.
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